23 Aug More Unlikely Bad Moving Tips

It’s tough out there in moving-by-your-elf land. It could just be you, your elf, and an real-lative tryin’ your/their bestest to get while the gettin’s good OUT OF THE HOOD! Boxes, a map, some trap, and your crap are about all you’ve got to move from one place to another’s. Roommating and moonmating are there to comfort you, as we’ve SCOURED the internet to arrive at more unlikely bad moving tips for your hey!… day!…:

• A Dry Spell: Many experts tell people not to water a plant until it’s got dust on it. That’s not necessarily great love advice for gestational periods; for asexual performances, keep it wet and moist. Ensuring that you pack your hose at least a week in advance – will make sure that your plants do not add the extra 40 lbs of water for the moving truck. Move them all inside to avoid random wetness if you can.

• Paper Tom’s: So if you gots about a collection, then you’ll need a few, lower-management-style bins to get you motivated to organize upon unpacking. Are you going to sort and Manila’s folder your way to an organic move? Nope, you’re not. Not today! Will you open and organize into Elle Woods’s wonderland? Nope, you won’t do that either. So get you somethin’ that’s stackable and lift-able for when that day cometh… when you think somethin’ important may be in those bins over there, it cometh protected.

• Bag Mr Brown: Be sure to cook the day before or the day before that. If you get you a sandwich maker, you don’t need nothin’ but PB and J in Mr Brown’s bag. Punchin’ your list is as easy as old grocery bags and food with time labels on them. This is a tough day, get you a Yoo Hoo to bag your Mr Brown before leavin’. He’ll never see you again – just trashing trash anyway. Send your female neighbors your regards later as a good Southerner should.

• Don’t Buy IT: There ain’t no love out there for you, Honey. Don’t be buyin’ stuff for your storage unit like a fridge, table, and chairs. Just put those moan-nay-duhs to a roommate situation and keep your sanity stronger for the future. Don’t be tryin’ to rent an office floor somewhere… a simple romantic joint living situation with you and the beers of peers will do for someone’s like you’s.

The joys of moving on are, “parting is such sweet tomorrows”. Move your couchsurfer to the street with the morgue on it (professionally) by reading our moving tips that are unlikely bad. A hand shake with $50 says get you a job and don’t come back. Have a birthday cake handy so you can tell ’em we celebrate late here. Then, tell ’em to leave by noon tomorrow. See ya soon. When in Tampa, call Sam’s Movers.